From the recording Songs From The Silo
Music and Lyrics by Cole Porter
Down by the sea lived a lonesome oyster
Every day getting sadder and moister
He found his home life awf'lly wet
And longed to travel with the upper set
Poor little oyster.
Fate was kind to that oyster we know
When one day the chef from the Park Casino
Saw that oyster lying there
And said "I'll put you on my bill of fare."
Lucky little oyster.
See him on his silver platter
Watching the queens of fashion chatter
Hearing the wives of millionaires
Discuss their marriages and their love affairs
Thrilled little oyster.
See that bivalve social climber
Feeding the rich Mrs. Hoggenheimer
Think of his joy as he gaily glides
Down to the middle of her gilded insides
Proud little oyster.
After lunch Mrs. H. complains
And says to her hostess, "I've got such pains
I came to town on my yacht today
But I think I’d better hurry back to Oyster Bay.” Scared little oyster.
Off they go through the troubled tide The yacht rolling madly from side to side They're tossed about ‘til that fine young oyster Finds that it's time he should quit his cloister Up comes the oyster. Back once more where he started from He murmured, "I haven't a single qualm For I've had a taste of society And society has had a taste of me." Wise little oyster.